The 110 Year Old Virgin
by lovetwilight2
Summary: Ever wonder what Edward was really doing when he left Bella? He was kidnaped by Emmett and Jasper and sent to South America! ITS TRUE! rated a strong T for future events. Read and REVIEW!I changed the title to match his current age.
1. Emo Edward

**A/N: Hi people of the internet! :)**

**This is my somewhat humorous account of what _really_ happened during those months when Edward left Bella during New Moon.**

**I'm in the process of editing it, so sorry if there are any mistakes :)**

**Disclaimer: **Is this really necessary? Obviously i don't own _Twilight._

**Chapter One: Emo Edward**

It has been several months since I single handedly completely shattered my heart. And for all of you morons who don't know, I mean since I left Bella. Gosh, you people are so retarded! Why can't you understand my personal problems! Sob…Anyway, sorry, I've had a lot of mood swings thanks to Jasper. We've been stuck here in Alaska near the Denali Clan, but we still have to keep a low profile, so we have to stay indoors a lot. I just usually lock the door to my room and look for pointy things. But none of them work, so I just sit there thinking.

In my time of solitude, I still haven't forgotten my beautiful angel. Sometimes, I even regret letting her go. With out her my life has been…nothing, completely empty. I don't talk to my family anymore. What does it matter any way? Nothing matters anymore except that my Bella isn't here. I sometimes imagine kissing her soft, warm lips but then that vision changes to her kissing someone like Mike Newton. But I just hope that when she moves on, she'll have better taste than to pick someone like Newton.

Esme is getting worried. She's starting to think that I'm gay again or that I'm just depressed and shouldn't be, but is mostly that I'm gay. However I don't care what she thinks, I don't care about anything anymore, only that Bella is kissing Mike, again. Gah, I can't watch! MOMMY, IT BURNS!

**A/N: This is sort of the introduction, not really part of the story, just to set the mood, i guess...**

**pleasepleaseplease REVIEW! you know you want to...**


	2. The Plan

**A/N: Yay! The plot is here...**

**Chapter Two: The Plan**

Emmett, Jasper and Esme where sitting around the kitchen table talking, the rest of the Cullens, minus Edward, were out hunting.

"I'm worried about Edward," Esme said, "He's been in his room for over a week now and hasn't come out."

"He's just depressed, it'll pass." Jasper said.

"What that guy needs is some distractions. We should go Rio!" Emmett suggested, getting up from his chair and started dancing the Conga.

"Hey, that's a great idea! Lets got to Brazil!" Jasper shouted and went to join Emmett.

"Brazil… that could work" Esme said thoughtfully, "I've always wanted to go on a vacation. It's the perfect time."

"Woa, woa, woa. Hold on Esme, this is going to be a guys only trip. If you want Edward to distract himself from love, we can't have our wives come with us." Emmett explained, making it sound like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"Carlisle can come, thought, but not you, Esme." Jasper added.

Esme looked as if someone has slapped her

"Well, fine. If I can't go then forget Carlisle, he's staying with me. Mark my words, Alice and Rosalie will say the same about you, so forget it! You're staying here!" With that being said she left the kitchen to go try to talk some sense into Edward, who was still in his room.

"She's right, you know." Jasper said

"We have to do it; it's the only way that Edward can get better. We'll just have to lie to them, tell them we're going somewhere else…and we can't let them know we're in the same place, they'll get suspicious."

"Okay, but we'll also have to leave at separate times. I'll go first, I'm going to say that…that... I'm going to collage!"

"Why would you go to collage? That isn't going to help Edward get better, you know!"

"No you idiot, I'm going to _pretend_ to go to college, but I'm going to Brazil!" Jasper explained.

"Oh, that makes more sense."

"I'll leave tomorrow, the sooner, the better." Jasper said dramatically.

**Jasper POV**

My mind was racing as I slowly walked to my room. What was I going to say to Alice? What if she saw what we are planning to do? What if she doesn't let me go? What if she tells Rosalie? If Rosalie finds out, Edward will stay depressed forever.

Is hopeless, we are going to fail for sure. There is no point in living any more. I should go kill myself right now. I cannot live with out my Bella.

Wait, Bella? Oh, I just realize I was standing right in front of Edward's room. Poor guy, he's getting suicidal again.

The sound of a car approaching reached my ears. Alice was home. Oh, oh.

**A/N: Muahahaha! a cliffhanger :D**

**Review please!**


	3. Alice's Wrath

**Chapter Three: Alice's Wrath**

Alice was in the garage, standing by the Austin Martin, waiting for me. I could feel the waves of anger radiating from her. This was not going to be pretty.

"H-hey, A-Alice, how w-was the trip?" I asked shakily. I really hoped she hadn't seen Emmett and I sneaking to South America, she can be really scary when she wants to, but it was all pointless, she already new, I could _feel_ it.

"Jazz, why did I have a vision of you, Emmett and Edward at a bar- a _gay_ bar, that is! And with out _ME_! And most importantly why were _you _pole dancing with a _man dressed as a woman_?" Her voice broke at the last word. She was stating to shout, her adorable small frame starting to shake. "WHY AM I NOT THERE? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE PARTIES AND HOW MUCH I'VE WANTED TO GO ON A SECOND HONEYMOON!" She was sobbing tearlessly and there was nothing I could do. I felt so powerless. Wait- did she say _pole_ dancing with a _man_? I must have been really drunk…

"Now, now Alice, honey, I'm doing that for Edward-" I tried to explain in a soothing voice, before she interrupted me.

"EDWARD? WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS? HE WASN'T DANCING LIKE A FREAKING MAN-WHORE! HE-SHE…WHATEVER –HAD A _MUSTACHE_! A FUCKING HAIRY LIP! AND YOU COUD SEE ITS HAIRY, FLAT CHEST THROUGH ITS STINKING SHIRT!"

"Calm down, honey. Please, I can explain."

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ TELL ME WHAT TO DO, JASPER WHITLOCK HALE!" In her frustration, she smashed her fist in the car's shiny hood, leaving a crater-like hole. "Oh now look at what you've made me do! Edward's already depressed enough!"

"Exactly," I said "Don't you see? Emmett and I are going to take Edward on a vacation. You know, distract him a little. Maybe get some girls to help. Maybe that's why we were at the bar-"

"It was a _gay_ bar, Jasper. Edward might act gay sometimes, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't roll like that."

"You do have a point there." I agreed. Piano playing, girlfriendless for almost ninety years, if Bella hadn't come in the picture, I would guess he was gay.

"But couldn't you just tell me from the beginning? How can you lose faith in me so fast and unexpectedly? You knew I was going to find out one way or another." She sobbed.

"I tried, but you wouldn't let me." I explained, "So… can I go? I promise you that I won't dance with anyone or even talk to anyone." I tried to bargain.

"Why are _you_ there anyway? I can understand why Edward might be there, but why do _you_ have to go?"

"Well, I thought that Emmett might need some help and…Alice, are you all right?" She had stopped glaring at me; instead she was staring off into space, a blank look in her face. She was having a vision. Suddenly, she started laughing, giggling and even snorting.

"Hahaha, okay, okay," she struggled to get the words out of her mouth, she was laughing too hard "I'll let you go, under one condition." She bargained. "If you promise not to do anything stupid and record _everything_ that happens on camera, you can go. I also will not tell Rosalie about it" That was unexpected.

"Why?" I stupidly asked.

"Because, my young and naïve friend, _this _is something I have to see over and over again." Oh, oh she had _that_ smile. The smile she always smiled whenever she got too kinky or she was about to shop 'till she bought half the mall. Something was up, what did she see in her vision?

"What's going on, Alice?" I apprehensively asked.

"Just make sure you give Edward the _extra_-strong tequila, okay?" She happily answered. "And when you're in that gay bar, don't talk to anyone, if you know what's good for you." She threatened.

With that being said, she gracefully left the garage, leaving me both confused and scared.

**A/N: Review please!**


	4. Edward's Worst Nightmare

**A/N:Thank you people who reviewed! You are made of awesome!**

**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS BRITNEY SPEARS MUSIC! VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD!**

(yes, i've been reading my immortal lolz)

**Anyway:**

**Chapter Four: Edward's Worst Nightmare**

**EPOV**

Bella, oh my beautiful Bella, how I've missed you. But I can't go back. I must keep that promise; she has to go on without me.

I was, yet again, in my room, the door locked, and alone. I hadn't hunted in about a month, but with no human smells in my room, I could skip a couple of weeks. But the fact that I could resist hunting didn't mean that it didn't hurt. The pain in my throat only made the pain in my heart that much worse.

I hadn't come out of my room since Jasper left to go to College, about two weeks ago, but I'm not completely sure, I'd stopped caring about everything, time included.

A sudden knock on the door made me focus on reality, it was Emmett.

_Oh, I hope he hasn't heard me. Umm, I mean,_

_My loneliness, _

_It's killing me (And I)_

_I must confess_

_I still Believe_

_(Still Believe)_

_When I'm not with you I lose my mind_

_Give me a sing_

_Hit me baby_

_One more time_

"EMMETT!" I screamed, trying to drown the horrible music

"What?" He innocently asked.

_I must confess_

_That my loneliness_

_Its killing me nooow_

_Don't you know?_

_I still believe_

_That you will be here_

"I can't take it anymore!" I felt as if my head was about to explode. I ran to the door and yanked it off the wall. Quite literally.

"What did I do now?"

"You know that I hate that song!"

"Oh, sorry"

_I think I did it again_

_I made you believe_

_We're more than just friends_

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" I couldn't take it anymore. Clutching my head, I sank to the floor. Finally, do to laughter, he stopped torturing me with the dreadful song. "I hate Britney Spears!" Only _Emmett_ would want to listen to _her_.

"God, you're such a drama queen." Emmett said, amused as always, "Anyways, I was wondering if you want to go hunting with me tomorrow?"

_Yes, say yes!_

"Why" I asked suspiciously. Then I remembered that I wasn't supposed to care about anything anymore. "I mean, no. I'm too emo right now to want company. And speaking of company, get out of my room!" I shouted.

"Somebody's cranky." Emmett said in a stupid singsong voice.

"Fine, what do you want?" I asked.

"I told, you already. Do you want to go hunting tomorrow?"

I thought about it for a second. It _had_ been a while since I last hunted, and being thirsty reminded me of when I used to be near Bella. That definitely was not going to help me get better.

"Fine, when do we leave" I sighed

"Tomorrow, first light, so you better star packing."

"Wait, why do I need to pack? We're only leaving for one day, right?" I asked.

_Oh, no, he's getting suspicious._

"Emmett, what's going on?"

_Crap, I better shout up before he finds out._

"Find out what?"

"I…umm…need to go pack too…you…umm, better start packing…"

With that he turned his heel and ran downstairs, leaving me staring after him in the empty hallway. I heard the faint sound of the phone being dialed. Emmett was calling someone.

"Jasper? I've found a weakness. I repeat: I've found a weakness. I'll meet you in Sin City….Okay, got cha. See you there." He was calling Jasper, telling him to meet him in Sin City? What the hell is going on? I tried to find out more by listening to his thoughts but all I found was more Britney Spears. I better stick to not caring about anything.

_Oops I did it again_

_I played with your heart_

_Gotta lost in the game_

_Oh baby, baby_

_Oops you think I'm love_

_That I'm sent from above_

_I'm not that_

_Innocent _

All I could do was try to put the door back on the wall and try to ignore the horrible music. Oh, how I wish I'd brought my piano, or at least my Ipod…

**A/N: Please review!**


	5. On The Go

**A/N: Thank you people who reviewed! you get a cookie **

**Chapter Five: On the Go**

"Where are your bags?" Emmett asked, eyeing my suitcaselessness

"I told you, I'm not packing half my closet just to go on a two-day hunting trip!"

How many times did I have to tell him before he finally understands? Gosh, Emmett is so stupid sometimes. If it were up to me, I would have gone alone, or not at all. The painful burning in my throat was oddly comforting, it made me feel better. But Emmett kept playing Britney Spears songs whenever I refused to go. And the worst part was that he only knew "Oops…I did it again" and "Baby, One more time". You had to admit that even if you _liked_ those songs, they would get annoying after 12 hours nonstop.

"But… Oh, come on Edward, don't be such a joy-killer! Besides, packing is fun!" Emmett insisted.

"Don't worry! I have it solved!" Alice shouted, entering the garage. She had a giant, bulky case, which I assumed was full of my clothes.

"Hey, Emmett. There is another bag upstairs, do you mind getting that for me?" She asked him, while simultaneously trying to stuff my bag in the trunk.

"No problemo!" Emmett said and sprinted out of the garage.

"Wha..? Okay Alice, there is no way I have that many clothes!"

"Well, you do now." She answered simply. "Have a nice trip!" she said and left. Emmett had returned by then and was attempting to stuff the already-too-full Jeep's trunk with the other bag.

"Okay, ready Bro?" He asked enthusiastically. I just glared at him, too annoyed for words.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Come on, get in!" he encouraged, opening the passenger door for me.

"I just know I'm going to regret this…" I murmured to myself, getting in.

"That's the spirit!" Emmett yelled, already in his seat and starting up the car.

"So, exactly _where_ are we going, again?" I asked as he drove down the serpentine road to the high way.

"Umm, just the mountains."

Was it me, or did Emmett sound a bit apprehensive? And why did "Oops…I did it again" suddenly started playing in his head?

"Will you stop with the Britney Spears songs already? If you want to listen to some music, turn on the radio, for crying out loud!"

"Well now, _somebody_ is PMSing today." He murmured, turning on the radio to a decent station. There was a Linking Park song playing. I remembered that Bella and I had a CD with that song on it. I think she said Phil gave it to her as a Christmas gift. I never had a chance to give her a Christmas gift, not even a Valentine! And February fourteen was only a few days away…I was truly the worst boyfriend on the planet. At least now she can have someone better, someone that can make her truly happy…

The song ended, and with it my train of thought.

It was then that I noticed for the first time where we were. We were in the middle of Anchorage (Emmett drives fast, too) heading for what it looked like the airport.

"Emmett, where are we going? I thought you said we were going to the mountains!"

"Oh, we are. This is just faster."

Even with his Britney-filled head, Emmett couldn't lie to me. He had something up his sleeve and he didn't want me to know what it was, which just meant that it was nothing good. Now I just need to figure out what he's planning and how to stop it…

**A/N: Please Review!**


	6. Kidnapped

**Chapter Six: Kidnapped **

"I _told_ you we were going to the mountains! You never believe me!"

After three long, _long,_ **long,****LONG** hours stuck on a plane with Emmett, and an hour long ride up a trail, we finally arrived at the "mountains". Turns out that these "mountains" were no other than the "mountains" we went to hunt when we lived in Forks!

"Shut up, Emmett. Just shut up." Being so close to Bella, breaking my promise in other words, made me both angry and anxious.

"Oh, come on. We're really near Forks and you still act like a wet chicken. You've gotta learn how to brighten up."

I said nothing. Didn't he know that being near Forks was definitely NOT a cause for happiness? On the contrary, it made me want to hurt myself again.

"Are you finished with your sulking yet?" Emmett asked and started walking toward the edge of the trail. "Because if you are, I'm hungry and I don't plan on waiting for you if you don't hurry."

"Just leave me alone!"

_Perfect,_ he thought.

"What do you mean by "perfect"? Emmett?" I turned around and saw that Emmett wasn't there. This must be the first time he's ever listened to me. It started raining at that moment so I went inside the "borrowed" car (we left the Jeep back in the airport). It was a truck, _Ford_ not _Chevy_, but there was a certain similarity with Bella's truck. It was even red. Maybe Emmett did it on purpose. Maybe. Or maybe it was just destiny- kismet. Maybe I should go to Forks now and beg her to forgive me…

But she's better off without me. Has she found someone yet? IS she happy? Should I go to forks and check? No I am not going back there. I promised her to never interfere ever again. But what if she's miserable, like me? What if-

A sudden noise outside brought me back to reality. It was probably Emmett, though. He's finished already? It usually takes him _hours_ finish. He couldn't have left that long ago, could he?

_Okay, just as we practice._

_One more time or oops?_

_It doesn't matter which one._

Yes, that's defiantly Emmett, with…Jasper? What's he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be in college right now? Then I remembered Emmett's conversation with him yesterday. Sin City? We were nowhere near Vegas right now, what-

_My loneliness,_

_It's killing me (And I)_

_I must confess_

_I still Believe (Still Believe)_

_When I'm not with you I lose my mind_

_Give me a sing_

Oh crap. I quickly covered my ears and closed my eyes in a useless attempt to drown out the music. I heard the door open and a pair of hands restrained me, not that I was in any condition to fight.

"All right, Edward. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way" It was Jasper, his voice coming from outside the car, so Emmett must be the one holding me back.

"Get out of the car. We're going to Forks."

Like I said: Oh crap.

**A/N: Remember to Review!**


	7. Mike

**A/N: Yay! Another update! Sorry it's kind of short...**

**Chapter Seven: Mike**

"For the last time, I am NOT going back there!" I struggled to free myself. But it was useless, Emmett was stronger, plus he had already hunted, so he was even stronger.

"Stop it Edward, it's not going to work. You are going to have a good time and you are going to like it!" Jasper shouted. Wow, he sounded just like Carlisle when he got mad.

"This isn't working! We need to go to plan B", Emmett said.

"Okay, you hold him, I'll go look for it." Then he turned around and started running toward the general direction of Forks.

Jasper POV

I ran as fast as I could. Emmett was strong, but Edward sometimes beats him at arm wrestling, and I wasn't going to take any chances. Finally, I arrived at Newton's Outfitters; it looked the same as the last time we've come here to get out "camping" gear. Mike Newton was at the counter, alone. Perfect!

"Hey there, Newton." I could feel the confusion coming from him. He just stared at me. How slow can he get?

"Cullen? What are you doing here? I thought you've moved to LA."

"What's it to you? And by the way, I'm a Hale." Stupid Newton, getting his nose in other people's business.

"Well…I just thought…Bella…might want to…"

"Yeah, don't tell her we're here okay?" I ordered him. The last thing we need is to have Bella know we're here.

"Well that won't be a problem; she hardly talks to me these days. Like a zombie or something…So what do you want?"

"Well I was in the neighborhood and thought that maybe you could lend me a CD."

"A CD?" He asked.

"A Britney Spears CD, to be exact."

"I don't have a Britney Spears CD" he said quickly. Too quickly, I could see right through him. Plus, I could feel the nerves oozing from him.

"Yes you do"

"No, I don't." Wow, he was almost as bad at lying as Bella.

" You do"

"Do not"

"Do"

"_Not"_

"Do"

"**NOT!**" He was angry now; you could almost see the smoke coming out of his red face.

"…do"

"FINE! YOU CAN HAVE IT IF YOU WANT, JUST GO AWAY!"

"Is that the way you treat costumers now?"

"Here" He reached into one of the counter's drawers and shoved CD to me. "Now can you please go away?"

"Thanks! I'll give it back latter." I walked out of the store into the light rain. "If it survives…" I said so low that there was no way he could hear me.

"Oh, and my...my-Mom gave that to me for...for Christmas!" Mike called behind me.

Just as bad as Bella.

**A/N: Remember to Review!**


	8. forks

**Chapter Eight: Forks**

**EPOV:**

"STOP, PLEASE!" I shouted. I couldn't take it anymore. I'd listen to the CD forever, it seemed. "I'LL DO ANYTHING!"

Emmett still held me back. Jasper had stepped out because apparently my pain waves weren't very nice to him.

"Anything?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, even go to Forks. I can't take it anymore!"

"Do my ears deceive me?" It was Jasper. He appeared out of nowhere with a mischievous grin in his face. "So you agree to go with us to Forks?"

"Yes" I whimpered.

"Alright then, but you should hunt first. We don't want any 'accidents' to happen." Jasper said.

"Oh come on. That was only once!" Emmett shouted, letting me go.

"Yes, but you killed half the student body." I reminded him.

"Who asked you? But seriously, Edward, why don't you like Britney Spears? I think she sings kind of nice, might even buy one of her CDs."

Only Emmett could be this naïve.

-3 Hours Latter-

After three hours of continuous hunting, we were finally ready to begin our faster-than-I-would-like-it-to-be trip to Forks.

"So, tell me exactly _why _you are taking me to forks?"

"Oh Eddy, I'd never thought you'd be this stupid. We're taking you to see Bella, duh." said Emmett.

Of course I new they were taking me to see Bella the moment I heard we were going down to Forks. And Emmett new I hated being called "Eddy".

"I now that you idiot! Why are you taking me to see B-her" I couldn't say Bella's name out loud.

"Isn't it obvious?" Jasper interrupted our little fight. "So you can get closure. If you see that she moved on, then you can move on. There are other fish in the sea you know."

"What does fish have to do with chicks?" Of course it was Emmett who said this, "But he's right there are other girls. Even hotter girls and girls that you can actually, well you know…" He trailed of suggestively.

"Yeah" Jasper agreed, "like Tanya. She sure does have one heck of a crush on you."

"That's a great idea! Maybe we could ask her to catch up with us" Emmett suggested.

"No! Three in Forks are enough. I still can't believe I agreed to-"

"Shhh. We're here." Jasper announced.

We were hiding behind the bushes and trees at the edge of the forest. The house was exactly as I remembered it; well the window to her room was closed now. And the curtain was drawn too. I cringed as a new wave of hopelessness and sorrow hit me. It was too much to bear, I had to get out.

"Were do you think your going?" Emmett asked, restraining me again. "We haven't even gotten inside. C'mon!"

We walk (well Emmett practically dragged me) slowly to the small house.

"You guys aren't really thinking of going _inside_, right?" I asked apprehensively.

"Of course we are. We didn't come all this way for nothing. Besides there's no one home." Jasper said.

He was right, even from the outside I could tell that there was no one inside the small house. Well at least I won't be seeing Bella…

When we got to the front porch I was on the verge of tears, if that was possible.

**A/N: Remember to REVIEW!**


	9. What Happened Next

**A/N: I'm really, _really, REALLY_ sorry you guys. It's been years since I uploaded anything. I feel bad :(**

**Anyway, here is the net chapter. The beginning of it has been sitting in my files since forever, but i never finished it. I really want to finish this story though, so i WILL be updating, I just don't know how often.**

**And yeah, I own nothing!**

**(and about the name of this chapter, you can just tell the writer's block I'm having right now)**

**Chapter 9: What Happened Next**

Emmett opened the door using the hidden keys, which weren't very well hidden under the doormat. The door creaked opened and we went inside, Emmett half-dragging me and Jasper closed the door behind us.

"Well, we're here! Now what?" I staged whispered. I didn't know exactly why, there wasn't anyone in the house and there weren't any neighbors around.

"What do you mean 'now what'?" Emmett said, "we go to her room, c'mon!". And with that he pushed me up the stairs.

Her room looked exactly the same, but totally different at the same time. It looked too neat. The bed was made, no clothes lying around, and there was nearly no dust at all. I took a deep breath to study myself, wincing at the pain her smell brought me.

"Okay, we're here, now what?" I demanded.

"We go through her personal stuff, duh." Emmett, of course, said this. "Dibs on the panty drawer!"

"Emmett, I don't think that's the _best_ idea right now." Jasper warned, which was a good thing for Emmett, sensing my emotions. I was right about to snap.

"What we really need," Jasper continued, "Is for him to actually see Bella, get some closure."

"So does that mean no panties?"

I growled.

"Gosh Ed, it's not MY fault you're such a prude!" Emmett complained.

After a quite civilized and calm discussion between Emmett and me, we were standing in Bella's front yard.

"Okay, so now that we're all calmed down, let's find Bella." Jasper then sniffed the air, "Do you smell that? Ugh! What in the world is that awful smell?"

"It smells somewhat familiar," I said.

"Yeah, it kind of does." Emmett agreed.

"What are you guys talking about? I've never smelled a more disgusting stench in all of my lifedeath." Jasper said, wrinkling his nose.

"Wait, I remember! It's the Big Dog Wolves People!" Emmett shouted suddenly.  
"You mean the werewolves." I clarified, hearing Jasper's confused thoughts.  
"I wonder what they're doing here at Bella's house. Well, that settles it! We're going down to the reservation to look for Bella." Emmett said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
"Are you insane?" I finally said. This was just WAY too much. Fist having to go inside Bella's room, and now breaking the treaty. As if we needed the pack attacking us...On second thought… that would mean that they would kill us! That way I won't have to think about Bella anymore.  
"Great idea Emmett! You're a genius!"  
They both stared at me.

_Talk about __mood swings_. Jasper thought. I ignored him.  
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go look for the wolves!" I said eagerly.  
"I thought we were going to look for Bella." Emmett said, confused by my sudden giddiness.  
Her name was like a knife, cutting me were it hurt the most. This only made me want it to end it sooner. "Yeah, whatever. Let's go."  
"You know, this might not be a good idea..." Jasper said hesitantly. He could feel the waves of suicideness radiating from me.  
"Oh? Do we need to get the CD out again?" I asked dangerously. Revenge would be sweeter than Bella's blood

"Gosh, Ed. I was just being careful. We're here to have fun, not to die!" There was a pause.

_But then again, lots of fun things lead to death. Like vampire hickeys and sex…not to mention overdoses and bleeding to death. I'm hungry now…UGH, if I keep this up I'll be fatter than Carlisle after he did that open heart surgery._

"I think we all want to forget that little incident." I said to Jasper. "So are you game?"

"Edward, no one says that anymore, but okay. If there's going to be bloodshed, then it certainly _will_ be fun." Jasper said, getting more eager by the minute.

With that being said we ran south toward the treaty line. I had this insane thirst for it to be over. To laugh as they ripped me to shreds. We were nearly there. I didn't even care if it hurt. Suddenly I realized that I _did_ want it to hurt. To hurt very much. I deserved this pain for being a stain in Bella's life. Almost there now. I was very much ahead of the other two now.

"Wow Eddy, I didn't know you were this eager to see Bella. We should probably hang back a bit; let you two lovebirds have your privacy." I heard Emmett calling about twenty feet behind me.

"Leave me alone, Emmett!" I called back, ignoring his indecent thoughts.

And finally, we arrived at the treaty line. I stopped, wanting to savor the moment. I slowly stepped onto enemy territory and waited for the end.

**A/N: I would appreciate reviews! :)**


	10. Valentine's Day

**A/N: Yay I'm back again! i had this written for a while now, but I had some trouble updating it. I tried to use another account but it still didn't work. **

**Anyway, enjoy and please, please, please REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own! Not even part of the actual dialogue. don't sue me**

I could NOT believe my luck. Here we were, practically begging for the fight of our lives, and no one was home. The whole pack must have been on vacation or something. But there was not a single wolf in La Push that afternoon. Oh well, so much for suicide.

"Seriously Edward, you're making me feel like a pregnant lady. Would you at least make your mood swings make sense?" Jasper snapped. Of course, he felt every emotion I felt.

"Sorry." I said grumpily.

Emmett and Jasper were already heading toward town. I quickly caught up with them. The smell was unbearable. It was like being in a room full of wet dogs, sweaty socks, public bathrooms and a couple of skunks. At the same time.

"I don't know about this, guys." Emmett suddenly said. "I don't think I can stand the smell any longer." I completely agreed with him.

"But we're almost there!" Jasper complained. His years in the military, both before and after his transformation, had toughened him out. "Her sent is getting stronger, we must be near!" He finished excitedly.

It was true. I was reliving the pain I suffered in her room a few minutes ago. But that wasn't what was worrying me the most. I could also smell that someone was with her. And her companion's smell made both my nose and heart wrinkle up.

"Is she with a…No, that's way too ironic to be true." Emmett smiled maliciously. "She's with a dog! A werewolf!" He laughed. I didn't see what could possibly be funny about the situation. In fact, I didn't see anything. I didn't fell anything either. I couldn't think. I was numb.

We had just reached the edge of the forest. Beyond us was the back of a very small red house. A home-made garage was sitting on the side of the house. We could hear voices coming from inside it. It was Bella's voice. It was like being submerged in sulfuric acid.

**Emmett POV**

When we got right up to the edge of the forest, Edward suddenly stopped. He was staring towards Bella's voive. Man, I knew he'd be upset, but it was painful to watch him like that. I took a deep breath trying to think of something nice to say to him, ignoring the awful stench. Then I noticed a very particular smell.

"Well, at least one thing's for sure," I said, "at least we know he hasn't knocked her up yet." The next thing I knew, Edward attacked me. It took Jasper some effort to hold him long enough so I could get away.

"Okay, okay! Sorry! Geez, Ed. If I didn't know any better I'd think it was _you_ that was on your period."

He leapt on me again, but this time I got out of the way before he grabbed me.

"Cut it out, you guys!" Jasper seethed. He was mad now. "They're going to hear us!"

We moved closer to get a good look inside the garage. I heard my brother moan and saw him twitch a bit. A teenage boy was bending over the skeleton of a motor bike. And there was Bella, sitting on the filthy garage floor. It reminded me of how Rose looked after fixing the cars in our garage. Man, Esme sure was mad at us for getting motor oil on her new curtains. That sure was fun. My happy memories ended when I felt something hitting hard on the back of my head. No doubt from Ed. Then I focused and listened to Bella's conversation.  
The boy was talking to Bella, no longer paying attention to the bike.

"…February. So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do" The boy was saying. O yeah, I forgot that today was Valentine's Day. How ironic. Poor, poor, single Ed.

"So what exactly does that entail?" Bella asked the boy.

"The usual – slave for life, that kind of thing. He responded. How kinky; I liked this strange, smelly boy.

"Oh, well, if that's all…" Bella said, taking a small box of candy from the boy.

WHOA, whoa, _whoa!_ Did Bella just pimp herself out to that boy? Man, she must be desperate to only ask for a fifty-cent box of candy. I would have never believed it of Bella.

"Emmett. Shut. Up." Edward hissed. "Bella is NOT a whore. She's only joking with him."

"Yeah, you just keep thinking that." Jasper told him, rolling his eyes. "Face it dude, she's over you and it's time you got over her."

"And speaking of getting over old crushes and whores, I know the perfect place for you to forget all about old Bella here." I told a miserable looking Edward.

**A/N: I tried to skip emo Ed as much as i could. I had the first half written but was too lazy to look up the dialogue from the actual book, so updating took longer that it should. **

** Please remember to review :) **

**See you guys soon...**


	11. The Accident

**A/N: Hello again! Here's the next chapter of this crazy thing. I should be able to update in a couple of days i promise i won't let you wait so long.**

**Disclaimer: Do I _really_ need to say this? I. DO. NOT. OWN. **

**Chapter 11: The Accident**

**Edward POV:**

The sun was setting behind the low hills in the horizon. The desert sky was streaked with soft pink and gold. I couldn't stop staring at its beauty. I now understood why Bella was so enamored by the empty wasteland. Its emptiness made the simplest things amazing.

"Ugh! Edward, seriously, can you stop feeling so depressed already? I'm getting a headache!" Jasper complained from the backseat. I was riding shot gun while Emmett drove the sleek black car (with darkened windows, of course) down an empty flat road.

"Jasper's right. You should be exited. I know I am." Emmett said. Immediately his head was filled with scantly dressed women wearing feather headdresses and boas.

"Yeah, you say that now. Just wait until Rosalie finds out where you're taking me." I threatened him. But he ignored the threat and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Couldn't you get a faster car?" I asked impatiently. It might look like a nice car on the outside, but under the hood it was a different story. We were going at 90 miles per hour. Unbelievable. "We should have been there hours ago!"

"Hey, don't worry. We're not missing much. The good parties always start at night." Emmett winked suggestively. I just glared at him. "Besides, it was the best I could find. Not all sports cars have tinted windows, you know." He continued.

"Hey, how long are we staying anyway?" Jasper asked nervously.

_I hope not too long or Alice'll kill me._

"Jasper, stop being such a pussy. We'll go back when we go back, okay? This is a man's trip. So you need to be a man and stop letting Alice control your life!" Emmett said.

"She does _not_ control me!" Jasper retorted.

"Yeah, right! Who bought you those shoes? Certainly not you; I never knew you liked ponies."

"They're limited edition collectables! Alice got them only because she thought they would remind me of when I lived in Texas. And they're not _ponies_, they're _stallions_. There is a HUGE difference between-" Jasper began to lecture. Sensing a long boring speech about the different kinds of horses, I decided to intervene.

"Since when do you not listen to Rosalie?" I asked him.

"Shut up. My point is that we need to learn to be independent from our women. Or ex-woman, I should say." Emmett said pointedly looking at me.

I snapped. All the frustration and anger I had kept under control since I left Bella broke free. I launched myself at him, trying to get a hold of his neck.

"Hey! Jasper help! OW! _Ow_!" Emmett screamed as I tried to rip his neck off.

"We're going to crash! Guys stop it!" Jasper yelled at us, but he did nothing to stop my attack. Emmett, meanwhile let go of the steering wheel to pry my hands off his face.

"Watch out!" Jasper screamed, covering his eyes. Emmett took the wheel but it was too late. The car was inches away from the edge of a canyon cliff.

"I'm too young to die!" Jasper screamed as we plummeted into the air.

"I'M TOO SEXY TO DIE!" Emmett bellowed.

"AHHHH! Tell Bella I love her! AAAAAHHHHH!" was the last thing I said before the front of the car crashed into a hanging boulder halfway down the cliff. The car stood momentarily vertically before it slowly leaned forward and tumbled once more through the air. We were now spiraling down. Emmett and I held on to each other while we screamed ourselves hoarse as we were turned upside-down. Jasper was hanging so tight to the head rest in front of him that he broke it. I closed my eyes waiting for the impact.

And that's when I saw it; my life, my existence, my Bella. She was looking breathtaking wearing a white gown and holding a bouquet of flowers. And then out of nowhere the boy I saw her with earlier today was sanding next to her wearing a tuxedo. He embraced her and leaned forward to plant a kiss on her beautiful lips.

"**NOOOOOOOO**!"

But then the boy got more and more passionate, and to my horror, so did Bella. She was pulling at his hair with one hand while she unbuttoned his shirt with the other.

My eyes flung open, trying to erase that awful sight. I saw the ground coming closer and closer until the car bucked from the contact with the ground. At once all the windows shattered. I felt like vomiting as I looked around. We had landed right-side up in the middle of a rocky valley with dead-looking plants everywhere. We were all panting heavily.

"Thank…God that's…over" Emmett managed to say between gasps.

And then the car exploded.

**A/N:Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn**

**Muahahaha a cliffhanger when they just fell down a cliff! XD. Ok enough lame jokes. Please Remember to review! Do it or I shall push you off a cliff.**


	12. Extraterrestials

**A/N: Hey guys, here's the next chapter. I'm still not sure about how this chapter turned out...oh well, i just wanted to update as soon as possible. I already have half of the next chapter written, so expect an update soon :)**

**Disclaimer: Yada Yada Yada...**

**Chapter 12: Extraterrestrials**

"Dude! Did you SEE that?" asked the young man sitting in the backseat of the blue beat up truck wobbling down the deserted road. Three teenage boys, obviously drunk and possibly high, were sitting in the car looking rather disoriented. The insides of the car were filled with a light cloud of swirling smoke.

"What?" grunted the bespectacled next to the first. He clumsily put down the bottle of beer he had been drinking and shakily wiped the drool off his mouth. Then he tried to focus his eyes on the boy next to him, but ended up looking quite cross-eyed.

"That explosion….at least it sorta looked like one." The boy replied.

"I think…I think that you had too much to drink…and now you're seeing things" The driver said. The idiot had to pause to keep the car from leaving the road.

"Naw…you know what..? DUDE! No, no listen. Aren't we near Area 51?" The first boy slurred.

"Carl, don't be stupid." The driver said, trying, but failing miserably, to keep the car within the lane.

"You think you saw a UFO?" The boys next to Carl asked.

"It coulda crashed. I saw this big-ass ball of fire over there" He said, pointing to a curb in front of them.

"I think we should invest- investigate." The boy next to Carl hiccupped. "We could like…meet E.T. or something"

"Like the song! Omagosh I loooooooooove that so-" Carl started to say.

"No dumbass, like the movie"

"Okay Harold…but if …if we get ab-ducted, I'ma blame you." The driver said, tripping over his words. "So where did you saw you saw it?"

"Right over there. Wait, wait, stop here Mark." Carl said, pointing over the side of the road next to the edge of a huge cliff. Mark stopped the car and they all clumsily stumbled out of the car.

"Are you sure you-HOLY SHIT!" Harold shouted pointing at the cliff. At the edge of the road were three humanoid things, groping the dead looking plants trying to pull themselves out of the cliffside. They were naked and their skin looked like it was camouflaged with black and glittery white stuff. The top of their heads was covered in wire-like tuffs of singed hair that smoked slightly and their eyes were a bright yellow.

"Let's get out of here before they probe us!" Carl screamed and started running towards the car. But he crashed with the open passenger door and fell down, holding his now bleeding nose.

"No, wait! Help us!" one of the alien-like creatures said. "We're not going to prove you!"

"Go get something heavy from the car." Mark whispered to Harold. "Okay, aliens, what do you want?" He shouted toward the strange beings. He took a step back as the beings reached the top of the cliff.

"We just want some clothes, man" another alien panted.

"Why, what happened to? Forgot to pack extra underwear while you were planning to invade us?" Carl snapped.

"We're NOT aliens." The third alien rebutted

Harold came back holding a pack of beer.

"This is the only thing I could find" He explained shakily gasping for air.

"All right, aliens. We're armed and we're not afraid to use." Mark threatened.

"That doesn't even make sense. Use what?" The copper-haired alien asked, eyeing the pack of beer in Harold's arms.

"Okay…But we're not here to harm you" The blond alien said. "We just want help, our ride crashed and our clothes burned off."

"How come you aren't even burned?"

"Umm….Magic?" The brunette alien said.

"That makes sense! I mean, think about it, guys. They're aliens so they must have some freaky alien powers." Mark concluded. "What do you guys think?"

The boys eyed each other and then nodded.

"Okay, aliens, we'll help you. But if you try to probe us, you'll be sorry."

"Don't worry, we won't." The brunette said getting up from the ground and dusting some dirt off his hand. Then he extended his hand toward the three boys and added, "I'm Emmett, by the way."

**A/N: You didn't think i would kill our beloved Cullens (and Hale) did you?**

**I don't know if i should change back to first person or keep it in third person :/**

**What do you guys think?**

**Please remember to REVIEW!**


	13. Getting There

**A/N: Sory about the lateness of this, but on the bright side, this one is longer than the others :)...**

**Anyway, I should be able to update by next week. Questions, comments, or concerns? Just review.**

**Oh, and never drive drunk or high people...**

**Chapter 13: Getting there**

"Are you sure you don't have any _other_ extra clothes?" Jasper asked, looking down at his outrageous outfit.

"Sorry, but no. You're luck my Sis keeps her extra uniforms in the car, though." Mark answered, taking his eyes off the road and looking over his three new passengers.

"_This_ is her_ uniform_?" Edward asked incredulously.

"I don't know, I kind of like how this color looks on me." Emmett declared, followed by a shocked silence. "What? I said I liked the _color_" he clarified.

Emmett, Jasper and Edward were currently sitting in the crowed back seat of a five passenger pick-up truck trying not to cough from all the fumes coming from the boy's cigars. However, their biggest concern was not the smoke, but their current attire. They were each wearing a black mini skirt made from some shiny, stretchy material and a white button-down shirt. Emmett, however, was much too big for it to fit, so he wore a faux fur jacket with a hot pink and turquoise zebra pattern.

"…So, how long 'till we get there?" Jasper asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Not so far. Hey, you aliens like to smoke?" Mark said, offering them a white cigar.

"For the last time, we're NOT aliens." Edward said exasperated. "And no thank-"

"Yes! Please." Emmett interrupted, taking the cigar. He leaned forward and let Carl light it. Emmett then turned and offered it to Edward. "Here, bro you need this more than anyone I know."

"I am _not _going-" Edward started to say but was again interrupted.

"Can I have one?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, me too!" said Emmett.

"Sure, we were planning to blow it all off today. It's a very special occasion, isn't it guys?" Mark asked looking at the two boys sitting next to him. "You see, today a year ago this bitch broke our hearts."

"Yeah, she was going out with all of us at once. We only found out because it was Valentine's Day and we all wanted to take the ungrateful little three-timer out." Harold explained, tripping over every other word.

"Oh, no" Emmett said, taking his cigar. "That's why we came here in the first place. My brother here is also trying to forget about a bad romance."

That little reminder of Bella made Edward think of that horrid vision he while falling off the cliff.

_What if she's kissing that guy now? Or worse. What if she's_….

He couldn't bear to finish that train of thought, so he took the cigar and gave it a puff, hoping it would drive those awful thoughts away.

"You mean like the song? I loove-" Carl started to say.

"What song?" Emmett asked sharply. _This could be a great chance to learn about new tortures for little Eddie…_

"You know…Lady Gaga."

"Who _is_ this 'Ladygaga' you speak of?" Emmett asked, very interested indeed.

"Oh, c'mon, Emmett. You _must_ have heard of her." Jasper suddenly jumped in. "Or must you _always_ be locked in your bedroom with Rosalie?" He asked much too low for the others, except Edward, to hear.

Edward was currently stewing in his misery to pay any attention to the conversation. He only smoked his cigar, still hoping that it would make him feel better. He had already smoked more than half of it. And strangely enough, it was kind of beginning to work. He could feel a little bit lightheaded.

Emmett ignored Jasper and turned back to his cigar.

"So, where to?" Mark asked Emmett.

"Somewhere were we can get different clothes." Jasper mumbled under his breath.

"How about a hotel. Know any good ones?"

"Yeah, but you kind of need to bring your own sheets 'cause I don't think they've ever washed theirs."

"What? What kind of hotels do you guys _go_ to?" Jasper asked eyeing them incredulously.

"Well, the _really_ good ones are too expensive." Carl explained while pushing Harold's passed-out head off his shoulder.

"Pshh!" Emmett scoffed. "Don't worry about the money, 'cause we've got plenty."

"Really? Did you rob a bank before your spaceship crashed?" Mark asked excitedly.

"How many times do we have to tell you? We. Are. NOT. Aliens!" Edward shouted. "And give me another smoke." He had already finished his cigar and desperately needed more. It helped him stop thinking about what Bella could be doing with the male population of Forks. Carl passed him another cigar and clumsily lit it. Edward thanked him and desperately sucked his new cigar.

"Take it easy, Ed." Emmett said slowly, surprised by his brother's strange behavior.

"Do you guys go out camping a lot?" Jasper asked suddenly.

"No, why do you asked?" asked Mark confused by the random question.

"Oh, nothing. I just think that you've got a dead skunk somewhere in here." Jasper replied, taking his cigar to his mouth.

"Pshh! Naw! You mean the smell? No man, that's just the grass." Carl said.

"I beg your pardon…?" Edward said, staring at the boy.

"You know, grass, weed, pot, whatever you want to call it." The boy responded nonchalantly.

"What? Are you gardeners or something?" Emmett asked curiously.

"WHAT!" Edward shouted, throwing the cigar to the floor. "You imbeciles had me smoking _WHAT_?"

"Shit! Why didn't you tell us?" Jasper demanded, also throwing his cigar to the floor.

"We thought you guys knew…y'know, the smell and all…" Mark said completely ignoring the road.

"No! No, let's get out before we do something we'll regret." Edward tried to unfasten his seatbelt, but found that he could hold the buckles.

"Wait, do you hear that?" Emmett asked looking over his shoulder. He froze. "Oh, shoot."

Suddenly the car was flooded with flashing red and blue light. A police car was behind them.

**A/N: How will they get out of this one?**

**Remember to review :)**


	14. The Police

**A/N: Hello again, sorry for the late update, but I have writer's block and summer school :/**

**Anyway, here's the story**

Chapter 14: The Police

"I think you should pull over."

"Okay, okay…"

The old truck came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the highway. The police car had to swerve over to the next lane to stop the car and avoid a collision with the truck.

"Great, just great! How the hell are we supposed to get out of this one?" Edward hissed. He was feeling very weird. He couldn't concentrate and it irked him to no end.

"Shut up, Edward. I'm trying to think." Jasper whispered back. The policemen had gotten out of his car and had walked over to the front window. He took one look at the passengers and sighed.

"Evening, officer." Mark greeted, trying to smile cheerily at the police officer.

"Maybe we should run…?" Emmett whispered to his brothers.

"I was going to ask if you kids have been drinking, but it seems that is unnecessary." The policemen said slowly, taking in the sight before his eyes. Mark clucked the steering wheel with both hands and was struggling to keep his shifty eyes open while Harold sat next to him drooling on Carl's shoulder. Meanwhile the back seats were occupied by three boys in drag. _I'm really getting too old for this…_ the policemen thought. "All right kid, license and registration and out of the car. _All_ of you."

"Shit…" Whispered Jasper.

"Let's scram at my signal" Emmett whispered back, helping Edward unbuckle his seatbelt.

Mark opened his mouth to protest but ended up staring blankly at the officer. He shook his head and blinked a few times then slowly opened the door and stumbled out of the car. Meanwhile the others did the same and got out of the car. The officer stared at Emmett, Jasper and Edward, opened his mouth as if to question their, uhm, eccentric attire. But then he seemed to think better of it and just looked away. _No even gonna ask…_ he thought, _Kids these days._

"Okay, now blow in to this" He said while reaching into one of his pockets.

"NOW!" Emmett shouted at the top of his lungs. The officer and the three boys jumped in alarm. Jasper and Emmett bolted to the dark side of the road. Edward tried to follow, but ended up colliding with the old truck and fell backwards. He quickly got up and run towards the darkness.

"_What_ was _that_?" asked the bewildered officer looking around. "Hey, where did the other three go?"

* * *

"Wow, Ed, you sure are not yourself right now." Said Emmett sounding half concerned, half impressed. They were still running, but more slowly this time. They were a good mile or so away from the others.

"Can we stop? I feel like I might trip and fall on my face any second." Said Edward. They came to a stop and looked around. Jasper and Emmett had been too busy trying to get away from the humans to pay attention to where they were going. Edward was too befuddled by the drug to notice much. He sat down on the dusty ground and put his head between his knees.

"At least we made it." Jasper said, looking at the glowing city before them.

"Are you ready to forget your women problems?" Emmett asked looking down at Edward.

"Where are we?" Edward asked slowly, looking between Jasper and Emmett.

"The real happiest place on earth." Said Emmett smirking, "Las Vegas, Nevada."

**A/N: Yeah, it's short but i just wanted to get it in there before it's _too_ late.**


	15. Checking in and Checking Out

**A/N: Here's the next chapter you guys, enjoy! :)**

Chapter 15: Checking In and Checking Out

"Why didn't we do this sooner?" Jasper asked while buttoning up his shirt.

"Because we're supposed to be good people." Edward responded grumpily.

The three of them were standing in a dark alleyway with three unconscious men lying on the ground.

"It's not like we've killed them. And this is an emergency. We can't walk around in those hideous things." Emmett said. "Should we just leave them here or throw them in the dumpster?"

"How can you even ask that?" Jasper said incredulously, "Obviously throw them in the dumpster, otherwise they'll attract attention if someone sees them."

"Right." Said Emmett and bent over to pick up the nearest unconscious man. "Should we take their underwear too? I don't want to go around wearing just pants, but I don't want to wear someone else's underwear. That's just nasty."

"I don't want to wear someone else's underwear either, who knows where that thing's been." Edward said under his breath.

"Okay now that we're decent where should we go first?" Jasper said while helping Emmett throw the unconscious men in the dumpster.

"The biggest and most expensive hotel, obviously." Emmett answered with a smug smile.

After all the unconscious bodies were properly hidden and all three vampires dressed, they walked to the closest extravagant hotel they could find.

"Hey there." Emmett smiled at the woman on the front desk. She stared at the three of them and grinned in a dazed way. _Wow, definitely three of the hottest guys I've ever seen. I hope they're alone_ she thought. _The redhead is the best by far._

"We'd like to get a room here. Presidential suite. The name's Cullen by the way. Emmett Cullen." Emmett continued offering the woman his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you." She said breathlessly, reluctantly taking her eyes off Edward and looking at Emmett. "Here's the key and room number." She said staring at Edward again. "Have an enjoyable night" And she winked at him.

"Oh God, let's get out of here." Edward whispered to the others. He shivered slightly at the woman's thoughts.

"We should go check out their casino fists." Jasper suggested.

"No, let's go to their dance club." Emmett said excitedly.

"You guys go have fun. I'm going straight up to the room." Edward said tonelessly.

"What? But the whole point of coming here was to go have _fun_. How can you have fun locked up in a hotel room?" Jasper asked looking at Edward as if he was crazy. Emmett giggled.

"I did not need to see that, Emmett." Edward said wincing.

"Sorry, bro. But Jasper's right, we came here just so that you could go out and forget Bella."

Edward flinched at the sound of Bella's name. "Thanks for reminding me. And I can't go out like this. I can barely walk straight."

"Oh, come _on_ Eddy. You're not going to ditch us are you?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, yes I am." Edward said walking towards the elevator. "You two have fun."

"You can't seriously expect us to just walk out on us." Emmett said outraged.

Edward stared at his two brothers then sighed deeply.

"Okay, how's this. You let me alone tonight and tomorrow night, you can take me wherever the hell you want. Deal?"

The elevator doors opened and Edward stepped inside. Emmett stuck his hand in to keep the doors shut while Edward pressed the top button.

"Do you promise? Swear it." He said slowly. This offer was too good to out of Edward's mouth.

"Yes, I swear." Edward snapped.

Emmett lowered his hand and the doors closed. He turned to look at Jasper. "Do you think he'd really let us take him wherever we want?"

"That's kind of what we've been doing these past two days." Jasper said matter-of-factly.

"Alright, let's go have fun. To the Dance Floor!" Emmett said starting towards one of the doors.

"I think I'll pass. I still haven't forgotten about Alice's vision. Apparently I'll be dancing with a drunken man. And she threatened me to do horrific things to me if I dance. So I'll go to the casino." Jasper said wearily. "I could use Alice right now. Winning a fortune at black jack is easier with her." He sighed.

"You're whipped bro. Why don't you give me your phone for 'safekeeping'" Emmett said slyly. "That way if Alice calls I'll be keeping you phone safe you won't get in trouble with Alice."

Jasper stared blankly at Emmett then said very stiffly, "She'd kill me."

"Oh, come on. You can't let Alice control your life. How can she not trust you? I mean you trust her with everything. You let her make all your decisions for you. I don't think it's fair that you'd trust her with your life and she doesn't trust you enough to let have a boy's night out."

"What? She does trust me. I-I don't know what…what you're talking about." Jasper stuttered and folded his hands across his crest.

"Then if she trusts you what's the problem?" Emmett prompted.

"Well, I…I-I think that…You're right. Here, keep this then." Jasper reached into his pocket for his phone but it wasn't there. "Oh, crap. Where's my phone? I must have dropped it in the car."

"Looks like it's your lucky day. See you later and _have fun_ for a change." Emmett said smiling. Her turned his heel and left.


End file.
